在改变的时代改变自己 雾满拦江 人民日报出版社【正版】 下载 pdf 电子版 epub 免费 txt 2025

《在改变的时代改变自己》是百万书作家雾满拦江的全新力作！是一本值得花时间好好研读的智慧作品，一本全是干货的沉心之作！

《在改变的时代改变自己》写给再迷茫中渴望活得明白的年轻人。任何时代，总会有一些迷茫期的年轻人在人生路上有这样或那样的困惑。作者用自己多年沉淀的智慧，以独具一格的风格，新颖有趣的角度，为当下的年轻人提供了一个独到的看问题的视角，并以自己多年的经验，给予他们在为人处世、自我提升、读懂人性等方面更多的指导和启发。

我们正处于一个的时代，也是一个不断改变的时代！想不被时代淘汰，就必须改变自己，读《在改变的时代改变自己》，改变思维，提升自己，才能拥有赢得人生的智慧，拥抱生命的无限可能。

章

想看明白这个世界，先要看懂人性

002 万千大道理，不如我愿意

009 想看明白这个世界，先要看懂人性

016 有些事儿你不能忍

023 不求深刻，只求简单

030 了解人性，读懂这个故事就够了

039 一个人才智越有限，越容易对工作和伴侣厌倦

046 懂点人性，更容易做成事业

053 知道得越少，越容易固执己见

第二章

别把世界让给你讨厌的人

060 我为什么要帮你

067 别把世界让给你讨厌的人

074 他人没有评价你的权利

081 跨不过去的是苟且，跨过去的是远方

089 只要智商还不够，哭声要响亮

096 与其控制情绪，莫如合理释放

103 不要活在别人的评价里

110 强大的人，敢于直面内心的脆弱

第三章

感觉力不从心时，应该如何努力

118 活在当下，做在手边，积累起来就是诗和远方

126 谁的成长不是惊心动魄、险死生还？

133 正确不重要，善良才重要

138 感觉力不从心时，应该如何努力

146 但凡需要咬牙坚持的事儿，都不会太成功

153 要怎样才能岁月静好

160 是选择决定了你的一生，而不是努力

167 爱你自己，别再灌过时的心灵毒汤了

第四章

未来三十年最重要的能力，你需要有

174 未来三十年最重要的能力，你需要有

181 没有自我的人生，无足以谈未来

188 心中的格局有多大，人生就能走多远

195 创业的事儿你不懂，就不要瞎白话了

202 让人敬服，而不是让人怜悯

209 我们所有的努力，只为了拒绝不喜欢的人生

216 此后二十年，每个人至少要变换三次职业

223 我们可以是弱者，但不能不爱自己

第五章

人生的路不是直的，你要学会拐弯

232 人生的路不是直的，你要学会拐弯

239 孩子，他们只是欺负你年轻

247 把人生还给自己，去追随你内在的声音

254 一个人的财富观，决定着他的最终社会地位

261 听说你过得很不好，那我就放心了

268 改变你思维的故事

275 人生很短，千万不要委屈自己

283 总之岁月漫长，然而值得等待

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• 作者：Ben 发布时间：2018-08-12 17:07:55

  不以虚名损实利

• 作者：fairy 发布时间：2018-08-01 10:34:58

  小说采用双女主形式。主角之一柔伊·沃克已入中年，生活平淡无奇，有偷盗前科的儿子和略显叛逆的女儿可能是唯一的挑战。但万万没想到的是她的照片莫名出现在报纸分类广告上，而出现在这一栏的其它女性或遭跟踪骚扰或遭强暴甚至杀害。发现这一事实的柔伊心中的恐惧不断升腾蔓延。是相信家人所说，模糊的照片上不是自己的安慰之辞，战战兢兢地克制中心中不知厄运何时降临的恐惧，还是勇敢地追查事实真相，拯救自己甚至更多女性，柔伊被推动着一步步做出选择。而另一主角凯莉一直对多年前姐姐被性侵一事自责，在处理类似的案件中情绪失控打了嫌疑人，因而被降级。但一则地铁盗窃案将她拉入了本次案件，向她寻求帮助的柔伊和另一受害者的凯茜·唐宁让她重新拾起回归特勤组的勇气，帮助被害人的过程中也明白了姐姐“云淡风轻”的态度，自己心中的阴影也终于释

• 作者：Chris_2017 发布时间：2022-03-06 18:41:28

  专业医师写的不错的一本书。

  顺势疗法，通过催眠和心理分析找到病因。

  同性恋是其中的一个例子（在某个事件或时刻之后潜意识里对异性的欲望被禁止或否定了），肥胖也是。

• 作者：Root 发布时间：2019-05-03 10:43:52

  “我从未有一刻想要接受他的这一提议。婚姻使两个人遭受更多家庭的束缚以及社会的劳役。相反，为追寻自身的独立而受的困扰远不及此沉重；对我来说，在空洞中寻找自由是如此的做作，因为这种自由仅仅存在于我的头脑与心灵。”

• 作者：Blutbad 发布时间：2024-03-02 23:45:40

  古称上党的晋东南地区是我国古建筑宝库中的宝库，不仅因为其存世的高古建筑冠绝全国，更难能可贵的是其存世的木结构遗存可以形成不间断的时间序列研究标本，为研究中国古代木构的建筑理念和营造手法提供宝贵的实物案例。本书就梁架结构、梁栿关系、铺作细节、屋顶与平面形制等方面自唐代以降至元的沿革进行了全面深入的分析和阐释，构建起中国北方建筑漫漫五个世纪的发展脉络，可以说是功德无量。可见，至宋代中期，中国木构建筑在结构科学性和外观样式上已臻于化境，如侏儒柱合㭼之配合、梁栿搭压之关系、昂形之多样、扇形布椽之手法的成熟和广泛应用都将中国木构建筑营造技艺推上顶峰。本书专业度极高，又较为缺乏适合的实物照片辅助说明，对非专业人士而言比较抽象，日后结合实地考察才能有希望理解透彻。

• 作者：柏拉不图 发布时间：2020-06-30 15:31:00

  人和人的格局就是不一样，有的富豪穷奢极欲，有的富豪则心怀天下。应该配合BBC纪录片一起服用。

• 评《人偶的复活》

  作者：简单阅读 发布时间：2021-03-03 14:35:35

  这是一个藏在悬疑推理之下，侧面刻画孩子们特殊的童年经历的故事。

  本书开篇营造的氛围感与谜团诱发了我阅读下去的欲望，故事内容环环相扣，描写角色性格的笔墨不多但特征鲜明，总体是一本故事性高于推理性的小说，不会让阅读者感到烧脑，而是带着紧张的心情一口气读完的那种畅快与意犹未尽。

  孩童视角的交流和内心刻画是本书的特色，可以说起到了引导剧情和挖坑的两种套路。

  阅读时长：1h50min

  ———————————剧透预警—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

  “小亚”的真实情况做了反转处理：第一次是发现亚希正是两人的哥哥；第二次用亚希的视角进行谋杀和诱导死亡；第三次最高潮的部分，当大家已经发现亚希的尸体不翼而飞，坚信他犯下一切罪案时，呈现在读者面前的是亚希已经蜡化的尸体和坚信自己是被亚希附身，从而做了种种计划的实矢和麻堵。

  这次，亚希生前所谓的过错也被揭开了面纱：那些谋杀与暴力行为的发生，只不过是为了在严苛的父亲面前保护弟弟，而一人揽下所有过错的谎言罢了。在这份情谊面前，拓也成功地共情了孩子们，并为幼时自己写下的童话故事变为血腥案件的事实悔恨不已；而他们的暴君父亲园城寺准雄仍不改秉性，父亲和哥哥死亡的秉性，或许只会引起大家对实矢的同情与叹息，至于麻堵，想必需要漫长的时间与正确的引导，才能改变对生死的认知，这又是开放性结局的后话了。

  在这个孩童把童话奉为真理，而对人的死亡只道寻常的，看似怪诞的故事里，实际上是对家庭教育尖锐的批判，而暴君父亲只是现代社会很多家庭中的缩影：成年人对自己已经理解的部分视为孩子理所当然掌握的能力，一味地苛求外在，常年对他们的内心世界漠视处理，甚至当其不存在。

  孩子并非监护人的玩偶，但他们的求助嘶鸣声弱而短促，往往被视作反叛的呓语。

• 全书书摘总结

  作者：Siva 发布时间：2017-08-05 16:38:38

  阅读更多

  https://github.com/gaohailang/blog/issues/3

  书籍分为三个部分：

  1 adopt the right mindsets 摆正态度

  包含了识别和集中精力在 high-leverage activity，为学习而优化，优先级」

  2 execute, execute, execute 执行的艺术

  包含了加快迭代速度，为提高而measure衡量，经常和尽早的验证想法，提高项目预估

  3 build long-term value 长期价值

  在质量和实效间权衡，减少手动操作，给团队加把力

  这些习惯来自于reinforced by scientific research, stories from industry, and concrete examples.

  1 focus on high-leverage activities

  - use leverage to measure your engineer effectiveness

  - systematically increase the leverage of your time

  三种方法： 1 find ways to get an activity done more quickly, 2 to increase the impact of an activity, or 3 to shift to activites with higher leverage

  - focus your effort on leverage points / direct energy toward leverage points, not just easy wins

  招聘这件事就是需要花很长时间去做的（Facebook 好几年优化）

  Employees view themselves as the guardians of high standards, and hiring is a top priority for both managers and engineers. 招聘是头等大事. 高标准的守护者。但有些工程师 view recruiting and interviews as distractions from getting their work done. 如submit feedback immediately, first humnaly-possible time slot 如早上8点中午1点等

  同样比尔盖茨在慈善事业上也是. global economy worth ten of trillions of dollars, any philanthropic effort is relatively small. 所以需要 way to put in a dollar of funding or an hour of effort and benefit society by a hundred or a thousand times as much.

  2 optimize for learning 为学习而优化

  - own your story/adopt a growth mindset

  集中在自己能改变的事上，growth mindset，把失败看做提升的机会。

  - don't shorchange your learning rate

  学习也是复利，越积累越学越快的「easier to apply prior insights and lessons new things，为了长期的发展，早期加大学习的投入~

  - find work environments that can sustain your growth/seek work enviroments conducive to learning

  转组前的准备，向同事咨询和找到noboarding的机会，同时看看 how transparent they are internally, how fast they move, what your prospective co-workers are like, and how much autonomy you'll have. 六大因素for supporting high personal and professional growth rate. 1 fast growth, 2 training, 3 openess, 4 people, 5 pace,节奏 6 autonony

  节奏： • What percentage of time is spent on maintenance versus developing new products and features?

  节奏： • What tools does the team use to increase iteration speed?

  people： • Are there skills they can teach you?

  openness： • Do teams meet to reflect on whether product changes and feature launches were worth the effort? Do they conduct post-mortems after outages? 「迭代的思路去提升而不是一开始就寻求最佳实践等」

  - capitalize on opportunities at work to improve your technical skills/dedicate time on the job to develop new skills

  利用工作提供的机会来提升，如阅读你同事好的工程师的代码让他们code-review，参加公司的培训，公司出钱参加的课程和书籍等

  Study code for core abstractions written by the best engineers at your company.

  Write more code.

  Go through any technical, educational material available internally

  Master the programming languages that you use

  .

  Send your code reviews to the harshest critics

  Enroll in classes on areas where you want to improve. [coursera, edx, udemy

  , udacity

  ]

  Participate in design discussions of projects you’re interested in [

  Ask project leads if they’d mind you being a silent observer or even a participant in a design meeting

  ]

  Work on a diversity of projects [

  interleaved practice

  of different skills is more effective than repeated,

  massed practice

  of a single skill at preparing people to tackle unfamiliar problems.]

  Make sure you’re on a team with at least a few senior engineers whom you can learn from.

  Jump fearlessly into code you don’t know.

  - locate learning opportunities outside of the workplace / always be learning

  每天都提高1%，不必都是工程软件相关的，其他领域的都可以。因为更愉悦的学习者长期有益于成为高效的工程师

  在工作之外找到学东西

  - learn new programming languages and framework

  new skills can expand your mind and teach you how to think in different ways.

  - invest in skills that are in high demand 如看看job posting中，看业界潮流，如深度学习和mobile development等

  - read books

  Bill Gates reads a lot and mostly non-fiction, using books to discover how the world works. 速度2-3x faster提升，同时作者给出了书单

  - join a discussion group

  I’m a part of a few book clubs and reading groups that meet regularly for discussion at cafes and apartments.如本杰明富兰克林就参加很多这样的来 discuss and debate morals, politics, or natural philosophy.

  - attend talks, conferences, and meetups

  - build and maintain a strong network of relationships

  Lucky people dramatically increase the possibility of a lucky chance encounter by meeting a large number of people in their daily lives. 书籍 the luck factor 中有

  - follow bloggers who teach

  - write to teach

  帮助你更好的理解你熟悉的东西（甚至帮助你自己reflecting和学习）.

  - tinker on side projects

  打磨技术，articularly in areas of interest that you don’t typically engage in at work.跨界.

  - pursue what you love

  不要passive time spent aimlessly surfing TV channels or the web.

  3 Prioritize Regularly

  - track to-dos in a single, easily accessible list

  - focus on what directly produces value

  - focus on the important and non-urgent

  - protect your maker's schedule

  - limit the amount of work in progress

  - fight procrastination with if-then plans

  - make a routine of prioritization

  讲grow product's user. 增长团队。 deciated to the art of science of user growth, 优化how users flow into and out a product. 同时 data and metrics数据和指标，同时 run endless user experiments and optimizing conversion rates. 需要结合 engineering, data and product marketing to build their strategies. 和普通工程团队一样需要 building experimention frameworks, and analyzing metrics 同时不一样的是： the list of ideas for driving traffic and growth is extremely open-ended and spans virtually the entire product.

  最重要的是找到方法让做优先级和todolist成为习惯！

  prioritizing 很难因为它本身不create anything，而且消耗精力。不需要一直做。但是if have certian personal or professional goals that you want to achieve, prioritiization has very high leverage. - see its outsized impact on your ability to get the right things done.

  4 invest in iteration speed

  - the faster you can interate, the more you can learn

  - invest in time-saving tooling

  - optimze your debuging workflow [don't underestimate how much time get spent validating that your code works]

  the extra investment in setting up a minimal debugging workflow can help you fix annoying bug sonner and with less headache. 建立最小可用debug流程帮助快速进入诊断问题

  - master the fundamentals of your crafts [development environment 熟悉开发环境， pay off dividends throughout your career]

  知道如何在IDE/editor 中完成下面的事情：

  Compiling or building code

  Running a unit test or program

  Reloading a web page on a development server with new changes

  Testing out the behavior of an expression

  Looking up the documentation for a certain function

  Jumping to a function definition

  Reformatting code or data in text editor

  Finding the callers of a function

  Rearranging desktop windows

  Navigating to a specific place within a file

  其他相关事：

  Learn at least one productive, high-level programming language.

  Prefer the keyboard over the mouse

  Automate yoru manual workflow

  Test out ideas on an interactive interpreter

  Make it fast and easy to run just the unit tests associated with your current changes.

  - take a holistic view of your iteration loop [don't ignore any organizational and team-related bottlenecks that may be within your circle of influence] 提升公司与组织层面上的如infra，利用你影响力能触达的

  5 measure what you want to improve

  - measure your progress

  because it’s hard to measure a goal doesn’t mean that it’s not worthwhile to do so.

  常常问自己. is there some way to measure the progress of what i'm doing. 如果我做的无法 move a core metric, is it worth doing, or is there a missing key metric?

  - carefully choose your top-level metric

  the right metrics functions as North Star.

  1 hours worked per week vs. productivity per week

  2 click-through rates vs long click-through rates

  3 average response time vs 95yh or 99th percentile respopnse times [To decrease the 95th or 99th percentile, however, you’ll need to hunt down the worst-case behaviors in your system.]

  4 bugs fixed vs bugs outstanding

  5 registered users vs. weekly growth rate of registered user

  6 Weekly active users vs. weekly active rate by age of cohort [防止哪种用了不用的人- measure the fraction of users who are still weekly actives the nth week after signing up]

  a metric that, when optimized, maximizes impact for the team. [whether it’s products sold, rentals booked, content generated, or something else—enables you to compare the output of disparate projects and helps your team decide how to handle externalities]

  An actionable metric is one whose movements can be causally explained by the team’s efforts. 而不是哪种 page views, registered users count 等「可能是之前的报道引流的」，观察 things like signup conversion rate, or the percentage of registered users that are active weekly over time

  A responsive metric updates quickly enough to give feedback about whether a given change was positive or negative

  - instrument your system

  [The easier it is to instrument more metrics, the more often you’ll do it.] 使用Open-source tools like Graphite, StatsD, InfluxDB, Ganglia, Nagios, and Munin make it easy to monitor systems in near real-time.

  The first describes a high-level, big-picture activity, whereas the second is about gaining insight into what’s going on with systems that we’ve built. 你的系统需要越多越全面越好的instrument.

  Once they had some visibility into what was happening, they were able to add caching to bring down load times from 8 seconds down to 2, fix bugs to reduce error rates down from an egregious 6% to 0.5%. 建立dashboard 等

  They measure everything including “numbers of new registrations, shopping carts, items sold, image uploaded, forum posts, and application errors.” By graphically correlating these metrics with the times of code deployments, they’re able to quickly spot when a certain deployment goes awry.

  At Google, site reliability engineers use a monitoring system called Borgmon to collect, aggregate, and graph metrics and to send alerts when it detects anomalies.

  Twitter built a distributed platform called Observability to collect, store, and present a volume of 170 million individual metrics per minute

  LinkedIn developed a graphing and analytics system called inGraphs that lets engineers view site dashboards, compare metrics over time, and set up threshold-based alerts, all with a few lines of configuration

  - know your numbers [方便获取数据]

  - prioritize data integrity [bad data 可能会让你做出错误的决定]

  譬如 common latency numbers（见系统优化）

  6 validate your ideas early and often

  - approach a problem iteratively to reduce wasted effort.

  拆分到多个MVP迭代特性不要逞强

  -

  Reduce the risk of large implementations by using small validations

  - use a/b testing to continuously validate your product hypotheses

  - when working on a solo project, find ways of soliciting regular feedback

  - adopt a willingness to validate your decisions

  建立反馈机制用于收集数据来验证你工作价值和有效性

  7 improve your project estimation skills

  - incorporate estimates into the project plan

  Don’t let a desired target dictate the estimates.明确特定功能特性上线时间

  - allow buffer room for the unknown in the schedule

  - define measurable milestones

  - do the riskest takes first

  Reduce variance in your estimates and risk in your project by exploring the unknown early on 先做风险大的来提前暴露出unknown.

  - Approach rewrite projects with extreme caution

  - know the limits of overtime / don't sprint in the middle of a Marathon

  [Work overtime only if you’re confident that it will enable you to finish on time.]

  8 balance quality with pragramtism

  - establish a culture of reviewing code

  - invest in good software abstractions to simplify difficult problems

  - scale code quality with automated testing

  大胆重构前先要建立 suite of unit and integration tests. alleviate the fear of modifying what might otherwise be brittle code.

  - manage your technical debt

  不要花太多时间在maintain一个软件上。 if you spend all your resources paying off interest on your debt, you won't have enough time left to work on new things. focus on the debt that oncurs the most interest.

  9 minimize operational burden

  - do the simple thing first/embrace operational simplicity

  Simple solutions impose a lower operational burden because they’re easier to understand, maintain, and modify

  When you first start off trying to solve a problem, the first solutions you come up with are very complex, and most people stop there. But if you keep going, and live with the problem and peel more layers of the onion off, you can oftentimes arrive at some very elegant and simple solutions.

  - fail fast to pinpoint the source of errors/ build systems to fail fast

  系统有问题就尽早报错loudly！

  - automate mechanics over decision-making

  为什么不把自动化做了？ 短期没时间，能每一次都花10分钟会让人麻木而不去话一小时去构建自动化（其他如lack familiarity with automation tools, individuals act rationally according to their own self-interest but contrary to the group’s best long-term interests）

  distinguished between two types of automation: automating mechanics and automating decision-making. Automating the right decisions to make, particularly in the context of building systems that can heal and repair themselves when things go wrong, turns out to be much more challenging. 譬如LB一台机器挂了把流量全部导入到另一台会打死剩下的机器

  Validating that a piece of code, an interaction, or a system behaves as expected

  Extracting, transforming, and summarizing data

  Detecting spikes in the error rate

  Building and deploying software to new machines

  Capturing and restoring database snapshots

  Periodically running batch computations

  Restarting a web service

  Checking code to ensure it conforms to style guidelines

  Training a machine learning model

  Managing user accounts or user data

  Adding or removing a server to or from a group of services

  - aim for idompotence and reentrancy/make batch processes idempotent

  One technique to make batch processes easier to maintain and more resilient to failure is to make them idempotent. 让脚本执行多次也是冥等的[如网络问题，数据量大奔溃，服务没起来等]

  Perhaps it generates a monthly analytics report, produces a new search index, or archives stale user data. the ability to run infrequent processes at a more frequent rate than strictly necessary, to expose problems sooner.

  - plan and practice failure modes

  10 invest in your team's growth

  - help the people around you be successful

  - making hiring a priority

  - invest in onboarding and mentoring

  - build shared ownership of code / AB岗位

  When you’re the bottleneck for a project, you lose your flexibility to work on other things. High-priority bugs get routed to you more frequently because your expertise enables you to fix them faster.

  Avoid one-person teams.

  Review each other’s code and software designs.

  Rotate different types of tasks and responsibilities across the team.

  Keep code readable and code quality high.

  Present tech talks on software decisions and architecture.

  Document your software, either through high-level design documents or in code-level comments.

  Document the complex workflows or non-obvious workarounds necessary for you to get things done.

  Invest time in teaching and mentoring other team members.

  - debrief and document collective wisdom

  去询问 what worked and what didn't work. document and share the lessons so that valuable wisdom doesn't get lost

  - create a great engineer culture

  Appendix 作者书单，好的blogger

  PS：

  holy grails

  idempotent

  disparate

  holistic 全面的

  back-of-the-envelope calculation 粗略计算

  brittle 易碎的

  debrief 询问

  ramp up

  measles 麻疹

  philanthropic 慈善的

  jeopardy