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《速读中国现当代文学大师与名家丛书:冯骥才卷》主要内容：一方水土养一方人，一方人有一方的灵性，出身于经商世家的冯骥才怎么会成长为一位作家，这怕就是慈城的灵气吧！人生历程与城市发展历程同步，与这座城市深深地结成一个文化整体，既是生命的巢，也是灵魂的巢。冯骥才与天津属于后者，在一定意义上，类似于茅盾与乌镇，鲁迅与绍兴，老舍与北京的关系。

他说，“文学是延绵不断的画面，绘画是片断静止的文学。文学是用文字作画”，而“绘画是用笔墨写作，画中一点一线，一块色调，一片水墨，都是语言。”

冯骥才偶然作书，全凭感悟。冯骥才的字是作家的字，文人的字。

冯骥才是个大才，以一支笔，驰骋文坛，享誉四海；以一支画笔，横涂竖抹，在绘画艺术上，独辟蹊径，自成一家。

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书籍介绍

《速读中国现当代文学大师与名家丛书:冯骥才卷》主要内容：一方水土养一方人，一方人有一方的灵性，出身于经商世家的冯骥才怎么会成长为一位作家，这怕就是慈城的灵气吧！人生历程与城市发展历程同步，与这座城市深深地结成一个文化整体，既是生命的巢，也是灵魂的巢。冯骥才与天津属于后者，在一定意义上，类似于茅盾与乌镇，鲁迅与绍兴，老舍与北京的关系。

他说，“文学是延绵不断的画面，绘画是片断静止的文学。文学是用文字作画”，而“绘画是用笔墨写作，画中一点一线，一块色调，一片水墨，都是语言。”

冯骥才偶然作书，全凭感悟。冯骥才的字是作家的字，文人的字。

冯骥才是个大才，以一支笔，驰骋文坛，享誉四海；以一支画笔，横涂竖抹，在绘画艺术上，独辟蹊径，自成一家。

• 作者：喵了个咪的 发布时间：2017-11-26 20:46:14

  冯骥才的文章写的很质朴，细腻

• 作者：海底游牧民 发布时间：2021-03-17 20:51:58

  自然的景观，好耶

• 作者：Crystal 发布时间：2021-04-18 16:08:44

  用最简单的语言总结各类文体特征，每讲内容浓缩在2版内，后附一系列经典文章，很有时代特征和文风的各式文章。那时候的文章，很有自己的独特味道。

• 作者：关你咩事 发布时间：2019-08-05 13:49:23

  内容比较详实，难得的是作者对于苏先生的学术研究也进行了详细介绍，读了这本传记，对于“反鲁”的苏雪林有了更丰富的感知吧。卧槽，突然想像她一样献身于学术…

• 作者：admiral 发布时间：2021-03-31 09:47:50

  不但看到一切，还以一切方式观看。

• 作者：野次馬 发布时间：2011-01-08 22:38:21

  大头春老师说希望读者慢慢读，结果我还是在两天之内飞也似地把两本都解决掉了。 今天有人问书中的谜会不会影响阅读快感，果然对于我来说解谜、索引才是真正的阅读快感啊。最大的收获是“我应该如此开始述说”，这已经超越了后设…… 已经超越小说写作了。 大春老师太强悍。我三年没看武侠，近两年没看推理、解谜，这回一次看全了。单单一遍自然是不够的，找时间把像看希腊神话一样把关系谱全部推一遍。又及：想起很久以前，机缘巧合之中我手头曾经有一本奇门遁甲之书，噗。现在不知道在哪里。有点好玩。又及：果然今天应该问问大头春老师还有没有随身穿着那件徐老三给的壳儿。又及：在我被《竹林七闲》一章震惊了以后我的白日梦又开始了。又及：读小说所费脑力，我终于有清醒的认识了。最后：寒假就应该过老鼠式的御宅生活啊！接驳阅读之类的……

• “特别推崇他在史诗《奥林匹亚的春天》的优异表现”

  作者：如意王学习室 发布时间：2022-01-11 21:53:41

  卡尔·弗里德里希·格奥尔格·施皮特勒是瑞典19世纪末到20世纪初著名的诗人和小说家，早年在苏黎世大学学习法律，而后到海德堡、巴塞尔研究神学，回国后担任教师工作。

  任教期间，他创作了他的第一部神话史诗《普罗米修斯与厄庇米修斯》。

  这部作品以普罗米修斯为原型，但是删减了他为人类盗天火、在高加索受罚、以及被秃鹰啄食五脏等种种情节，而是通过描写他在背叛天神意志而为人类造福后承受的种种磨难以及对抗这些磨难等情节，来歌颂普罗米修斯为人类和正义献身的崇高精神。

  在这部作品中，作者以古典的语言和象征性的手法将自己的思想以讽刺的方式表达出来，但由于某些思想过于隐晦和深刻而致使这部作品并没有得到大众的广泛认可，作者晚年将这部作品进行改写，并更名为《受难者普罗米修斯》。

  施皮特勒经历了当时那个年代艺术的颓废和人道主义的丧失，因此他期待通过更新和发扬古希腊文化来对人民进行唤醒；

  同时，他在艺术形式上，受到雨果和瓦格纳等象征主义诗人的影响；

  此外，他还受叔本华和尼采等哲学家的影响，否定现实社会，沉浸于唯心主义形而上学的思想之中。

  由此，他往往将其对现实社会和人民不满的思想与《圣经》故事和古希腊罗马神话相融合来创作新的神话和史诗。

  施皮特勒于1898年开始着手创作《奥林匹亚的春天》，通过13年的创作和修改，这部共五部的长达20000行的史诗作品终于在1910年出版。

  施皮特勒的诗歌还有《彩蝶翩遍》、《叙述曲》、《时钟之歌》等，尽管这些诗歌多因其思想深刻晦涩又不媚时俗而不被广大读者接受，甚至他的第一部神话史诗《普罗米修斯与厄庇米修斯》是他自费出版的，但是时至今日，这些诗歌也成为他文学成就的主要体现。

  另外，除了偏神话史诗的作品，施皮特勒也创作了许多直接反映客观社会问题的小说，这些小说的题材多来源于真实的生活，例如《康拉德中尉》、《梦中佳人──伊玛果》和自传体小说《我的早年经历》等。

  在第一次世界大战早期，他曾作了题为《我们瑞士的立场》的讲话，呼吁瑞士内部需要团结，并确定瑞士保持中立立场的主张，进而维护国家的统一。

  当时的瑞士分为德语区和法语区，因此在世界战事面前各自有各自的立场，而施皮特勒提出“所有在国界以外居住的人都是我们的邻居，甚至是可亲可爱的邻居；国界以内的人，与我们的关系却更近一层，他们是我们的兄弟。邻居与兄弟的差别很大。再要好的邻居，也有可能用大炮向我们开火；而兄弟，在战争中则与我们站在同一边。”

  《奥林匹亚的春天》一共五部33章，其中第一部《升天》描写了众神从阴间到天国途中的见闻及遭遇；

  第二部《新娘赫拉》讲述了众男神争夺王位和众女神的鼓励帮助；

  第三部《高潮》展现了在宙斯登上王位后对众神的管理，以及众神在周游人间时各自不同的遭遇；

  第四部《高潮的结束》描述了阿佛洛狄忒在人间的嬉闹和恶作剧，以及在宙斯沉迷于男欢女爱后，“阿南柯”给宙斯制造的与赫拉夫妻失和的障碍；

  第五部《宙斯》如名字一样，主要描写了宙斯治国情况，最终统治与春天从奥林匹亚蔓延到了人间。

  在《新娘赫拉》这一部分，原本是阿波罗赢得了每一个回合的竞赛，然而命运却安排宙斯成为国王，相比之下，命运的力量是更加强大的，另外宙斯为了王位与“阿南柯”的女儿高尔戈达成做终生爱仆的交易，最终宙斯成为了国王。

  而面对不公，阿波罗却和宙斯达成“一个人统治世界，一个人美化世界”的契约，可见作者反对战争而向往和平的观点，而这一观点也贯穿了整部作品，众神的理想都是简单的天下太平。

  另外，作者也表达了他对当时科技的蔑视。

  在第三部中，阿波罗通过英勇的斗争战胜了滥用科技器械的小人们的暗算，说明科技如果被用于邪恶的目的，也将被正义打倒，也许作者当时已经预感了世界的搅乱和不安，战争依然迫在眉睫，暗指科技器械作为军事武器被用作侵略和战争将会以失败告终。

  《奥林匹亚的春天》是瑞士第一部获得诺贝尔文学奖的作品，也是施皮特勒最重要的代表作之一，主要叙述了阿南柯作为奥斯匹林众神的命运决定者，安排在克隆纽斯政权被推翻后，被幽禁在地狱里的众神被唤醒，离开阴间并历经辛苦后返回奥林匹亚山为了成为国王和娶女王赫拉为妻而竞赛。

  这部作品中的最高统治者“阿南柯”是作者创造的人物，其希腊语意思为“必然”，而“阿南柯”拥有着一个机器作坊，这个作坊里有滚轮和传送带等属于作者生活年代的器械，这些器械无人可以操控，同时可以将众神送往顶峰也可以将其送往阴府。

  此外的人物多为古希腊神话中的众神，而作者着重描写的是：宙斯*、赫拉*、阿波罗*、阿尔忒尼斯*、赫尔墨斯*、帕拉斯*、波塞冬*和阿佛洛狄忒*。

  尽管这部作品的角色多为古希腊神话中的人物名并且主要基于古希腊神话，但是也融合了部分北欧神话、《圣经》故事以及日耳曼传说等，使这部作品更具有神秘而奇异的风格。

  这部作品全篇采用亚历山大体*，同时，大量采用比喻、象征、对比和讽刺等艺术手法，使得尽管作者不曾在作品中掺杂任何直接的议论和观点，但是他的思想和立场却更加客观的展示给读者。

  尽管施皮特勒获得了诺贝尔文学奖，但是他依然并不是文坛上非常赫赫有名的人物，不仅仅我国读者对这个名字感到陌生，甚至日耳曼语系的国家了解他的读者群体也算是少的可怜。

  有文学评论家认为这是因为他来自瑞士这样一个小国，小国的文学创作对于整个世界的文学界影响较弱，因此也使得他的国际知名度降低。

  这当然算是一个原因，1901年就设立的诺贝尔文学奖直至1919年才花落瑞士作家头上就是一个证明。

  然而，还有一部分原因来自于作家本身。

  施皮特勒的文学创作可以说并不是为了迎合读者而存在的，他期待用作品带领读者摒弃掉颓废文学，换言之，在当时那个年代，他的作品在文学界是具有革命价值的，可惜让人们放弃原有的习惯是困难的。

  与此同时，施皮特勒的作品多是将客观现实与唯心神学相结合的，就像《奥林匹亚的春天》虽然基于古希腊神话，但是又存在“阿南柯”这一现实人。

  这导致对神话本身没有了解的读者在阅读过程中困难重重，是对其耐心、修养以及知识库的挑战；而对于了解或者崇尚神话的读者来说，这种“戏说”确为一种亵渎。

  由于1919年处于第一次世界大战结束后余烟犹存之际，在瑞典文学院刚刚确定下来得主是施皮特勒时，遭到了一位教授的指责：“在目前战事纷纷的时刻，颁发奖金对于瑞典的‘中立’地位有百弊而无一利，弄不好会招来误解和麻烦。”

  因此，虽然施皮特勒是1919年的诺贝尔文学奖的得主，但是他是在1920年才登上了领奖台。

  作者：如意王，公众号：如意王学习室（微信号：ruyiwang_zhushou）

  

  

  宙斯*：是古希腊神话中的众神之王，奥林匹斯十二主神之首的众神之神，统治宇宙万物的至高无上的主神。主管天，也是天神，同时也是我们所称的“雷神”，就是复仇者联盟里的那个，哈哈。另外，宙斯还是万物生育的男神。对应罗马神话中的朱庇特。

  在这部作品中，宙斯是奥林匹亚女王赫拉的丈夫，也是奥林匹亚的国王。他虽然利用卑鄙的手段登上了王位，但他并不是一个昏君，他将国家治理的太平且井井有条。

  赫拉*：是宙斯的姐姐也是宙斯的王后，是古希腊神话中的婚姻与生育女神，奥林匹斯十二主神之一。与宙斯分享权力的共治者，因此也是主管权势的女神。对应罗马神话中的朱诺。

  在这部作品中，赫拉并不是一位女神，而是一个会老去和死亡的凡人。她心胸狭隘、心狠手辣、诡计多端，试图凌驾于万“神”之上，然而却难免一死。

  阿波罗*：是宙斯和勒托之子，是古希腊神话中的光明、预言、音乐和医药之神，消灾解难之神，同时也是人类文明、迁徙和航海者的保护神，奥林匹斯十二主神之一。也被人们俗称为“太阳神”。对应罗马神话中的阿波罗。

  在这部作品中，阿波罗是宙斯在争夺王位时的一个强有力的竞争对手，虽然身份有所改变，但是其特性并没有太大改变。

  阿尔忒尼斯*：是宙斯和勒托之女，是阿波罗的孪生姐姐，是古希腊神话中的狩猎女神和接生之神，同时也是野兽的女主人与荒野的女领主，奥林匹斯十二主神之一。对应罗马神话中的狄安娜。

  在这部作品中，阿尔忒尼斯的身份更近似于阿波罗的女朋友，她具有阿波罗一样的优秀品质，温柔、忠诚、无私，与阿波罗同甘共苦。

  赫尔墨斯*：是宙斯与阿特拉斯之女迈亚的儿子，是古希腊神话中的商业、旅者和畜牧之神，发明了尺、数和字母，被视为行路者和商人的保护神。也是众神的使者，奥林波斯十二神之一。此外擅长诈骗术，因此也被视为欺骗之神。对应罗马神话中的墨丘利。在这部作品中，赫尔墨斯身体强壮，在品质上也是阿波罗的陪衬之一。

  帕拉斯*：也称帕拉斯·雅典娜，是古希腊神话中的智慧女神和战争女神，奥林匹斯十二主神之一。对应罗马神话中的密涅瓦。

  在这部作品中，帕拉斯并没有丢掉原有的特征，依然是一位拥有男性特征的刚烈女神，像是赫尔墨斯“事业”上的“合作伙伴”。

  波塞冬*：是宙斯的二哥，是掌管马匹的神，也是古希腊神话中的海神，奥林匹斯十二主神之一，就是所谓的拿着三叉戟的“海王”。对应罗马神话中的涅普顿。

  在这部作品中，波塞冬依然掌管海水，但是他是一个愚蠢可爱而桀骜不驯的人，他期待水可以从低处往高处流，但最终被其妻子埃丽莎驯服。

  阿佛洛狄忒*：诞生于海洋，所以有时还被奉为航海的庇护神，是古希腊神话中爱情与美丽的女神，是爱女神，也是性欲女神，奥林匹斯十二主神之一。关于阿佛洛狄忒的传说有两个版本，一个版本认为她为宙斯与多多纳女神狄俄涅的女儿；另一个版本称她是宙斯的祖父的生殖器被宙斯的父亲阉割后，掷于海面掀起的海浪泡沫中诞生的，照这一传说，阿佛洛狄忒是宙斯的姑母，这对应罗马神话更加合理，因为阿佛洛狄忒对应罗马神话中的维纳斯，而宙斯对应的是小爱神朱庇特。

  在这部作品中，阿佛洛狄忒美丽而调皮，尽管不坏，但是总是用美丽的外表来愚弄他人，甚至在宙斯和赫拉感情不和时登上王后之位。

  亚历山大体*：法国诗歌当中的一种常用题材，起源于十二世纪中期由朗贝尔·勒道尔和亚历山大·德·贝尔内合写的一部名为《亚历山大的故事》的诗作，该故事诗中的诗句每行均是十二个音节搜索，故此得名“亚历山大诗体”(ale-xandrin)。亚历山大体诗歌的主要特点为诗句每行有十二个音节，在第六个音节后有个顿挫。法国格律诗不讲究音步，但却十分讲究诗行音节数量的整齐，从二音诗到十三音诗都有，使用最多的诗体当然是十二音诗。这种诗歌技法类似于我国的四言诗、五言诗、律诗，以及绝（截）句。

  为了促进和强化诗歌节奏的和谐与鲜明，法诗严格规定了“半逗律”，即在所有诗行的中腰用相当半个逗号的停顿将其分成前后两半，形成个特殊的音的规律。对于十二音诗来说，即在前后两个六个音节之间使用，行行如此便形成了“半逗律”。

  其区别于韵律学当中的音步，音步是重读与非重读音节的特殊性组合。一个音步的音节数量可能为两个或三个音节，但不能少于两个或多于三个音节，而且其中只有一个必须重读，包括抑扬格，扬抑格，扬抑抑格，抑抑扬格和抑扬抑格，这个类似于小学音乐课上老师带着打拍子时喊的节拍。音步是诗歌的节拍，而节拍是由词决定的，一句诗有几个词构成就是几拍，而一句诗有几拍就是几音步。

• 做人做事的普遍原则

  作者：Hammer_ 发布时间：2012-02-03 18:21:57

  Before we commence reading How To Win Friends And Influence People, we should first realize that this book had been written to be used to as textbook for the author's course in Effective speaking and Human relationship and it still used for today.

  So please not categorize this book as Self-help or Motivational book which often be degraded by those who unceasingly declaim how badly they hate this sort of things.

  Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem we face, especially if you are in business. Those principles can apply to all walks of people.

  If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little.

  What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people.

  Once you believe,that works.

  “Education,” said the author “is the ability to meet life’s situations,”

  If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book- if you aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For “the great aim of education,” said the author, “is not knowledge but action.”

  And this is an action book :)

  ----------------------------------

  readingnote:

  第一大章：怎样赢得朋友

  原则一：永远不要去批评别人

  很精辟，我们应该转换方式，让他们自己发现，或者用一种温和，婉转的方式，反之就算是中肯的批评也是有害无利

  1.ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.

  2.Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment

    

  3.Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return or, like the gentle Taft, will say: “I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have.

  4.每当我们想要批评别人的时候，想想这句话：“I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have”Judge not, that ye be not judged

  5.最真诚的忠告------勿责人，常思已过：Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous. “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”

  6.每个人都是感性的动物：When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

  7.我们应该做的：Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”

  ------------------------------

  原则二 如何与人打交道---Give honest and sincere appreciation

  1、（有道理！）There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.

  2.每个人都得到赞扬啊：The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals

  3. 赞扬和奉承的区别：The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out,the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish,the other selfish. One is universally admired, the other universally condemned.

  4.多点发自内心的感激，别吝啬对我们爱的人的赞扬：When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth

  5. 真的是这样呢：Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime -repeat them years after you have forgotten them

  ------------------------------------------

  原则三. 去谈论人家感兴趣的事----Arouse in the other person an eager want

  1.少谈自己，谈大家的兴趣和利益所在：So the only way cm earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk about what you want? but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.（销售的人应该学学，学会从他人的角度看问题）

  2.If out of reading this book you get just one thing- an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.

  3、我们的目的不是为了操纵人，而是实现双赢：Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment

  ----------------------------------

  第二大章：怎样让人喜欢你

  原则一：Become genuinely interested in other people--对他人感兴趣

  1.If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people -things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness

  2.If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology

  -------------------

  原则二：经常微笑

  1.Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them. A baby’s smile has the same effect

  2.A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless -that there is joy in the world.

  --------------------------------

  原则三：记住别人的名字

  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

  ----------------------

  原则四： 做一个好的听众，让别人去谈论自己（Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves）

  So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

  Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation

  ---------------------

  原则五：谈别人感兴趣的事（Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. ）

  -----------------------

  原则六：承认对方的优点和对自己的重要性（Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely）

  The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.

  -------------------------------

  第三大章：How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  原则一：避免和人辩论，因为你永远不会赢---这个，偶觉得还是方式的问题，不过还是尽量避免好了，因为没啥意义啊！：）The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

  You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it,and if you win it, you lose it. Why?Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot This argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis.Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still

  If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good wil

  -----------------

  独立一段，关于怎样应对argument的建议：

  一 不同的见解是有益的：Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.

  二：(别相信你的第一直觉印象--适用于异见）Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best

  三（控制你的脾气）Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.

  四：求同存异：Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which

  you agree.

  五：诚实： Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your

  opponents and reduce defensiveness.

  六：Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

  七：感谢你的对手：Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.

  八：给点时间给对方（很重要，很多时候回头看，会觉得当时狠傻，没必要为这问题吵，也从另一方面得出，和人去争论什么，真的没啥意义）Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

  ---------------------------

  原则二：别告诉别人自己比他们要高明

  这段狠有哲理，别证明自己比其他人聪明，就算知道，也别告诉他

  That is a challenge. It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start. It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions, to change people’s minds. So why make it harder? Why handicap yourself? If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.

  This was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope: Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown proposed as things forgot.

  Over three hundred years ago Galileo said: You cannot teach a man anything? you can only help him to find it within himself.

  As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can? but do not tell them so.

  （勇于承认错误是最对的）You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong

  ------------

  原则三：勇于认错

  When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique produce astonishing results? but, believe it or not, it is a lot more

  fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself.

  Remember the old proverb: "By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

  ----------------

  原则四：以友好的方式开始 Begin in a friendly way.

  --------------

  原则五： Get the other person saying “yes, yes”

  ------------------------

  原则六：Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

  （这里和上面有点重复了，其实这里有很多原则是共通的）

  ----------------

  原则七：Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

  卡内基是个中国通，他引用了好多中国古代的谚语和道德经的东西：

  " The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, put himself below them, wishing to be before them, he put himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight,though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”

  海纳百川，有容乃大

  ------------------------------

  如果仅仅把这书当做是快餐书，励志书，成功学，

  真的很可惜，

  这书流传这么久真有它的道理，一些自以为是的“读书人”可能不屑看这类书，替他们遗憾。

  一本值得反复看的经典之作，最重要是去实践上述的原则，

  要记住：“This is an action book.”

  2012.2.3

  By Hammer