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《人性的弱点全集》汇集了卡耐基的思想精华和最激动人心的内容，是作者最成功的励志经典，出版后立即获得了广大读者的欢迎，成为西方世界最持久的人文畅销书。主要内容包括：与人相处的基本技巧、平安快乐的要诀、如何使人喜欢你、如何赢得他人的赞同、如何更好地说服他人、让你的家庭生活幸福快乐等十篇。

第一篇 与人相处的基本技巧

第二篇 平安快乐的要诀

第三篇 如何使人喜欢你

第四篇 如何赢得他人的赞同

第五篇 如何更好地说服他人

第六篇 让你的家庭生活幸福快乐

第七篇 如何使你变得更加成熟

第八篇 走出孤独忧虑的人生

第九篇 不要为工作和金钱而烦恼

第十篇 防止疲劳，永葆活力

戴尔·卡耐基（Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955) ，20世纪最著名的成功学导师，著作有《语言的突破》、《人性的光辉》、《人性的弱点》、《美好的人生》等。这些书和卡耐基的成人教育实践相辅相成，将卡耐基的人生智慧传播到世界各地，影响了千千万万人的思想和心态，激发了他们对生命的无限热忱与信心，勇敢地面对与搏击现实中的困难，追求自己充实美好的人生。

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你所认为的并非真正的你；反倒是你怎么想，你就是什么样的人。

我们应该关心自己的问题，而非担忧。

关注意味着要认清问题，并冷静地采取步骤处理它，忧虑只是慌乱地兜圈子。

伤害人的并非事件本身，而是他对事件的看法。

人如果改变对事与人的看法，事与人就对他发生改变……

只要将一个人内心的态度由恐惧转为奋斗，就能克服任何障碍。

查尔斯华特服务在纽约市一家极具声誉的银行里，他被指派调查一家公司业务情况的秘密报告。华特知道有家实业公司的经理，对这情形最清楚，可以提供他所需要的资料，华特就去拜访那位经理。正当华特被引进经理室时，一个年轻女子由门外探头进来，告诉那位经理说，她那天没什么好邮票给他。

经理向那女郎点点头后，接着向华特解释的说：「我在替我那十二岁的孩子收集邮票。」

华特坐下说明他的来意，就即提出他的问题。可是那位经理却是含糊其辞，概括笼统，不搭边际的应付了一阵，很明显的，他是不愿意说。华特用尽了办法，也无法使他多说些，这次谈话简短枯燥，得不到一点要领。

华特也是我讲习班里的一个学员，他说：「说实在的，我真不知该怎么办才好………后来，我突然想起他那个女秘书对他说的话，邮票、十二岁的小孩，同时我又想到，我们银行的国外汇兑部，常和世界各地通信，有不少平时少见的外国邮票，现在正可以派到用处。

第二天的下午，我再去拜访那位经理，同时传话进去，我有很多邮票，特地带来给他的儿子………你说，我是不是受到热烈的欢迎？那是当然的事，他紧握我的手，脸上满是喜悦的笑容。他看了看邮票，一再的说：「我的乔琪一定喜欢这一张………嗯，这一张更好，那是少有见到的。」

我们谈了半个小时的邮票，还看他儿子的相片………随后，不需要我再开口了。他费了一个小时以上的时间，提供出各项我所需要的资料。他说完自己所知道的情形后，又把公司里的职员叫来问，接着还打了几个电话问他的朋友………而且还指出那家公司财产状况的各项报告、函件，使我得到一个极大的收获。

一个不关心别人，对别人不感兴趣的人，他的生活必遭受重大的阻碍、困难，同时会替别人带来极大的损害、困扰，所有人类的失败，都是由于这些人而才发生的。

书籍介绍

《人性的弱点全集》汇集了卡耐基的思想精华和最激动人心的内容，是作者最成功的励志经典，出版后立即获得了广大读者的欢迎，成为西方世界最持久的人文畅销书。主要内容包括：与人相处的基本技巧、平安快乐的要诀、如何使人喜欢你、如何赢得他人的赞同、如何更好地说服他人、让你的家庭生活幸福快乐等十篇。

• 作者：素手纤纤 发布时间：2011-11-25 14:41:25

  饶了我吧，读者式的文章实在太可怕了。如何让别人喜欢我？算了吧。如果我不欣赏一个人，我不会有任何兴趣取悦一个人。如何赢得别人的赞同？自己做好了有需要赞同么？Don't waste my time.

• 作者：凉水 发布时间：2012-09-02 20:48:23

  我认为这种书看多了人会变得邪恶而不真诚。

• 作者：7酱™ 发布时间：2012-03-25 14:31:01

  一向不喜欢励志书籍，但这本在情商提升上实在很有启发。我自己看的是全本，但看完觉得其实有空时随意翻着读，做好已读记号会效果更好些。重要的还是实行。

• 作者：lenlen 发布时间：2010-02-01 11:00:34

  卡耐基是怎么能靠这种没什么智慧的书影响那么多人的。。。

• 作者：Llilila 发布时间：2011-01-10 09:42:35

  如果不从内心作为改善的起点，借助再多外界的虚幻力量或者通过不断重复麻痹神经来达到所谓的好的转变都是无力的，依然得不到真正的喜悦和快乐。

• 作者：喜欢雨夜 发布时间：2022-10-14 21:26:53

  工具和进阶吧，简单翻阅了一遍，还是需要多写之后才有深入的需要吧。

• 亚里斯多德法则

  作者：铂程斋@喷嚏网 发布时间：2008-06-25 19:56:29

  （一）

   有三个程序员在一起发现了一个错误。

   第一个程序员是一个新手，他马上表态：“不好意思，我马上检查一下，可能是我哪里搞错了。”

   第二个程序员是个老油条，他说：“绝对不是我的错，我敢保证是微软的bug。微软也太不负责了，开发的产品也太臭了。看吧，当初我就说过，这不歇菜了吧！”

   第三个程序员是他们的头儿，他说：“我刚才检查了一下，是微软的一个bug。不过，我们可以换一个办法，绕过这个问题。”

   同样的一个问题，三个人，三种处理方法。

   第一个人，还没有做检查，自己就胆怯了。为何胆怯？因为没有足够的实力做后盾，自己没有信心。混乱中，盲目下结论。自己吓自己；

   第二个人，知识上自信满满，他能分析出问题，但是，他只是在乎的是自己能否控制，只要不是他的问题，其他的问题，管他的。反正又不是我的错；

   第三个人，核实了问题，也找到了问题所在。他没有去抱怨微软，他知道，就是抱怨了，微软估计也不会搭理你。他把重点集中在寻找解决方案上。

   这第三个人的做事方法，可以归纳为一个可推荐的标准动作，因为其符合亚里斯多德所教导的分析问题的基本方法。我们称之为：亚里斯多德法则。

   亚里斯多德法则，简述如下：

   【1】确认事实；

   

   【2】分析事实；

   【3】决定并且行动；

  （二）

   我们大多数人都读书，读书使人明智，也使人犹豫不决。

   问问我们为何会犹豫？想想我们如何面对现实？

   我们愿意自己睁开眼看见真实的现实，还是想暂时转移一下想象中的压力？

   我们听了家长的话，听了老师的话，当自己开始掌舵的时候，才发现这条船，不是自己要的，或者根本控制不了？？

   我们愿意看到现实吗？

   如果愿意的话，我们是否抱怨过自己的父母，抱怨过社会，抱怨过学校？

   好了，我们承认我们都干过了。但是，唯一原谅了自己。

   我们辗转腾挪，靠爹靠妈，就是没想清楚，何时才靠自己？

   你郁闷过吗？你忧郁过吗？你犹豫过吗？你害怕过吗？

   你是害怕找不到工作，丢面子，还是害怕自己虚度光阴，枉度此生。

   有时候，你想的很多，甚至还没有开始的时候，你就想到了可能的失败：如果失败了怎么办？我可承受不起！

   或许你想的失败就是别人赚5000的时候，你决不能只赚3000！

   因此，所有的梦想或改变就此打住！！！

   你从来没有这样想过：好的，我现在就在失败的谷底了。那又怎么样呢？

   没有多少人会认为谷底是年轻时拥有的最大的资本。因为你本没有什么，所以，你输得起。那个时候，即使是失败也是无形的价值。随之而来，收获的是一颗无所畏惧的勇敢的心。

   当你不再忧愁和郁闷的时候，你总会有无数的好点子迸发。人的成长不是吓大的，而是在行动中一点一点积累起来的，关于信念，关于力量。

   如果你感到害怕，写下你害怕什么，问问自己该怎么办？发生最坏的事情是什么？

   试着接受最坏的事情已经发生，好像自己真的失败过，但是，你仍然还活着。你可以让心安定下来，你不再让自己悬浮不已。

   问自己接下来做什么，什么时候开始动手。你可以真正的开始了，做出想要的选择。

   做回你自己。

  （三）

   人性中有很多弱点，比如做事情容易失去激情、害怕失败、犹豫不决、拖拖拉拉、顾影自怜、热爱孤独。

   这些都不是什么错，只是需要认识，并适当的加以理解和控制。对于生活，我们需要有更多的耐心和期待。

   每一年，我都会重读卡耐基的《人性的弱点》，每读一次，内心的感受都有所不同。这本伟大的书教给我们很多处世和生存的朴素道理。它告诉我们如何击败人类的生存的天敌-忧虑，如何才能创造出一种幸福美好的人生。

  喷嚏网：原创

  www.dapenti.com

• 做人做事的普遍原则

  作者：Hammer_ 发布时间：2012-02-03 18:21:57

  Before we commence reading How To Win Friends And Influence People, we should first realize that this book had been written to be used to as textbook for the author's course in Effective speaking and Human relationship and it still used for today.

  So please not categorize this book as Self-help or Motivational book which often be degraded by those who unceasingly declaim how badly they hate this sort of things.

  Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem we face, especially if you are in business. Those principles can apply to all walks of people.

  If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little.

  What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people.

  Once you believe,that works.

  “Education,” said the author “is the ability to meet life’s situations,”

  If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book- if you aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For “the great aim of education,” said the author, “is not knowledge but action.”

  And this is an action book :)

  ----------------------------------

  readingnote:

  第一大章：怎样赢得朋友

  原则一：永远不要去批评别人

  很精辟，我们应该转换方式，让他们自己发现，或者用一种温和，婉转的方式，反之就算是中肯的批评也是有害无利

  1.ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.

  2.Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment

    

  3.Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return or, like the gentle Taft, will say: “I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have.

  4.每当我们想要批评别人的时候，想想这句话：“I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have”Judge not, that ye be not judged

  5.最真诚的忠告------勿责人，常思已过：Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous. “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”

  6.每个人都是感性的动物：When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

  7.我们应该做的：Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”

  ------------------------------

  原则二 如何与人打交道---Give honest and sincere appreciation

  1、（有道理！）There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.

  2.每个人都得到赞扬啊：The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals

  3. 赞扬和奉承的区别：The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out,the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish,the other selfish. One is universally admired, the other universally condemned.

  4.多点发自内心的感激，别吝啬对我们爱的人的赞扬：When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth

  5. 真的是这样呢：Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime -repeat them years after you have forgotten them

  ------------------------------------------

  原则三. 去谈论人家感兴趣的事----Arouse in the other person an eager want

  1.少谈自己，谈大家的兴趣和利益所在：So the only way cm earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk about what you want? but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.（销售的人应该学学，学会从他人的角度看问题）

  2.If out of reading this book you get just one thing- an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.

  3、我们的目的不是为了操纵人，而是实现双赢：Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment

  ----------------------------------

  第二大章：怎样让人喜欢你

  原则一：Become genuinely interested in other people--对他人感兴趣

  1.If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people -things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness

  2.If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology

  -------------------

  原则二：经常微笑

  1.Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them. A baby’s smile has the same effect

  2.A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless -that there is joy in the world.

  --------------------------------

  原则三：记住别人的名字

  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

  ----------------------

  原则四： 做一个好的听众，让别人去谈论自己（Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves）

  So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

  Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation

  ---------------------

  原则五：谈别人感兴趣的事（Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. ）

  -----------------------

  原则六：承认对方的优点和对自己的重要性（Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely）

  The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.

  -------------------------------

  第三大章：How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  原则一：避免和人辩论，因为你永远不会赢---这个，偶觉得还是方式的问题，不过还是尽量避免好了，因为没啥意义啊！：）The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

  You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it,and if you win it, you lose it. Why?Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot This argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis.Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still

  If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good wil

  -----------------

  独立一段，关于怎样应对argument的建议：

  一 不同的见解是有益的：Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.

  二：(别相信你的第一直觉印象--适用于异见）Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best

  三（控制你的脾气）Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.

  四：求同存异：Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which

  you agree.

  五：诚实： Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your

  opponents and reduce defensiveness.

  六：Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

  七：感谢你的对手：Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.

  八：给点时间给对方（很重要，很多时候回头看，会觉得当时狠傻，没必要为这问题吵，也从另一方面得出，和人去争论什么，真的没啥意义）Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

  ---------------------------

  原则二：别告诉别人自己比他们要高明

  这段狠有哲理，别证明自己比其他人聪明，就算知道，也别告诉他

  That is a challenge. It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start. It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions, to change people’s minds. So why make it harder? Why handicap yourself? If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.

  This was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope: Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown proposed as things forgot.

  Over three hundred years ago Galileo said: You cannot teach a man anything? you can only help him to find it within himself.

  As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can? but do not tell them so.

  （勇于承认错误是最对的）You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong

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  原则三：勇于认错

  When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique produce astonishing results? but, believe it or not, it is a lot more

  fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself.

  Remember the old proverb: "By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

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  原则四：以友好的方式开始 Begin in a friendly way.

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  原则五： Get the other person saying “yes, yes”

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  原则六：Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

  （这里和上面有点重复了，其实这里有很多原则是共通的）

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  原则七：Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

  卡内基是个中国通，他引用了好多中国古代的谚语和道德经的东西：

  " The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, put himself below them, wishing to be before them, he put himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight,though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”

  海纳百川，有容乃大

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  如果仅仅把这书当做是快餐书，励志书，成功学，

  真的很可惜，

  这书流传这么久真有它的道理，一些自以为是的“读书人”可能不屑看这类书，替他们遗憾。

  一本值得反复看的经典之作，最重要是去实践上述的原则，

  要记住：“This is an action book.”

  2012.2.3

  By Hammer