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• 作者：文若飞鸿 发布时间：2021-01-21 15:51:10

  几乎没有作者思想的融入，除了使劲的吹了一下两个自己投资的案例外，其他的意识就是讲成功案例搬运一遍而已。

  多给了一星是因为，这个案例汇总对于有心人来说还是相对有点用的(前提是，不要跟随作者思维走，真实的去查这些所谓的案例，总结案例的优缺点。)

• 作者：三三 发布时间：2024-02-05 19:56:15

  陪女儿读书，最近她的最爱

• 作者：放空一切从容君 发布时间：2011-12-15 15:24:44

  大概的生平有了，不是很详细。

• 作者：火星探索者 发布时间：2021-01-11 14:26:38

  网络安全

• 作者：阿什米德 发布时间：2011-06-30 23:36:59

  孟子

• 作者：天行 发布时间：2013-01-11 00:19:27

  2013.1.11

• 做人做事的普遍原则

  作者：Hammer_ 发布时间：2012-02-03 18:21:57

  Before we commence reading How To Win Friends And Influence People, we should first realize that this book had been written to be used to as textbook for the author's course in Effective speaking and Human relationship and it still used for today.

  So please not categorize this book as Self-help or Motivational book which often be degraded by those who unceasingly declaim how badly they hate this sort of things.

  Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem we face, especially if you are in business. Those principles can apply to all walks of people.

  If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little.

  What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people.

  Once you believe,that works.

  “Education,” said the author “is the ability to meet life’s situations,”

  If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book- if you aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For “the great aim of education,” said the author, “is not knowledge but action.”

  And this is an action book :)

  ----------------------------------

  readingnote:

  第一大章：怎样赢得朋友

  原则一：永远不要去批评别人

  很精辟，我们应该转换方式，让他们自己发现，或者用一种温和，婉转的方式，反之就算是中肯的批评也是有害无利

  1.ninety-nine times out of a hundred, people don’t criticize themselves for anything, no matter how wrong it may be.

  2.Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment

    

  3.Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return or, like the gentle Taft, will say: “I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have.

  4.每当我们想要批评别人的时候，想想这句话：“I don’t see how I could have done any differently from what I have”Judge not, that ye be not judged

  5.最真诚的忠告------勿责人，常思已过：Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous. “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”

  6.每个人都是感性的动物：When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

  7.我们应该做的：Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”

  ------------------------------

  原则二 如何与人打交道---Give honest and sincere appreciation

  1、（有道理！）There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. Did you ever stop to think of that? Yes, just one way. And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.

  2.每个人都得到赞扬啊：The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals

  3. 赞扬和奉承的区别：The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out,the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish,the other selfish. One is universally admired, the other universally condemned.

  4.多点发自内心的感激，别吝啬对我们爱的人的赞扬：When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and begin to think of the other person’s good points, we won’t have to resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost before it is out of the mouth

  5. 真的是这样呢：Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime -repeat them years after you have forgotten them

  ------------------------------------------

  原则三. 去谈论人家感兴趣的事----Arouse in the other person an eager want

  1.少谈自己，谈大家的兴趣和利益所在：So the only way cm earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. If, for example, you don’t want your children to smoke, don’t preach at them, and don’t talk about what you want? but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash.（销售的人应该学学，学会从他人的角度看问题）

  2.If out of reading this book you get just one thing- an increased tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.

  3、我们的目的不是为了操纵人，而是实现双赢：Looking at the other person’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment

  ----------------------------------

  第二大章：怎样让人喜欢你

  原则一：Become genuinely interested in other people--对他人感兴趣

  1.If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people -things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness

  2.If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone use the same psychology

  -------------------

  原则二：经常微笑

  1.Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them. A baby’s smile has the same effect

  2.A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds. Especially when that someone is under pressure from his bosses, his customers, his teachers or parents or children, a smile can help him realize that all is not hopeless -that there is joy in the world.

  --------------------------------

  原则三：记住别人的名字

  Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

  ----------------------

  原则四： 做一个好的听众，让别人去谈论自己（Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves）

  So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

  Remember that the people you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think of that the next time you start a conversation

  ---------------------

  原则五：谈别人感兴趣的事（Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. ）

  -----------------------

  原则六：承认对方的优点和对自己的重要性（Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely）

  The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely. Remember what Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.

  -------------------------------

  第三大章：How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  原则一：避免和人辩论，因为你永远不会赢---这个，偶觉得还是方式的问题，不过还是尽量避免好了，因为没啥意义啊！：）The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

  You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it,and if you win it, you lose it. Why?Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot This argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis.Then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph. And A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still

  If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good wil

  -----------------

  独立一段，关于怎样应对argument的建议：

  一 不同的见解是有益的：Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, “When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.” If there is some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake.

  二：(别相信你的第一直觉印象--适用于异见）Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in a disagreeable situation is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best

  三（控制你的脾气）Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Don’t build higher barriers of misunderstanding.

  四：求同存异：Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which

  you agree.

  五：诚实： Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your

  opponents and reduce defensiveness.

  六：Promise to think over your opponents’ ideas and study them carefully. And mean it. Your opponents may be right. It is a lot easier at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say: “We tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen.”

  七：感谢你的对手：Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends.

  八：给点时间给对方（很重要，很多时候回头看，会觉得当时狠傻，没必要为这问题吵，也从另一方面得出，和人去争论什么，真的没啥意义）Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem

  ---------------------------

  原则二：别告诉别人自己比他们要高明

  这段狠有哲理，别证明自己比其他人聪明，就算知道，也别告诉他

  That is a challenge. It arouses opposition and makes the listener want to battle with you before you even start. It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions, to change people’s minds. So why make it harder? Why handicap yourself? If you are going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.

  This was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope: Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown proposed as things forgot.

  Over three hundred years ago Galileo said: You cannot teach a man anything? you can only help him to find it within himself.

  As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can? but do not tell them so.

  （勇于承认错误是最对的）You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong

  ------------

  原则三：勇于认错

  When we are right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking, and when we are wrong and that will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique produce astonishing results? but, believe it or not, it is a lot more

  fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself.

  Remember the old proverb: "By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

  ----------------

  原则四：以友好的方式开始 Begin in a friendly way.

  --------------

  原则五： Get the other person saying “yes, yes”

  ------------------------

  原则六：Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

  （这里和上面有点重复了，其实这里有很多原则是共通的）

  ----------------

  原则七：Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

  卡内基是个中国通，他引用了好多中国古代的谚语和道德经的东西：

  " The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, put himself below them, wishing to be before them, he put himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight,though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury.”

  海纳百川，有容乃大

  ------------------------------

  如果仅仅把这书当做是快餐书，励志书，成功学，

  真的很可惜，

  这书流传这么久真有它的道理，一些自以为是的“读书人”可能不屑看这类书，替他们遗憾。

  一本值得反复看的经典之作，最重要是去实践上述的原则，

  要记住：“This is an action book.”

  2012.2.3

  By Hammer

• 《终极蜘蛛侠1》：青春必须经过的三大难关

  作者：红警苏红不懂爱 发布时间：2016-02-14 09:45:17

  《终极蜘蛛侠1》：青春必须经过的三大难关

  世图引进的漫威漫画《终极蜘蛛侠》，我看到的是第一册，故事还没有完全展开，全书画风已经适应了电脑时代的新兴风格，色彩显然运用了电脑着色技术，看起来，与旧版漫画很有脱胎换骨之感。

  这部漫画号称终极系列，看起来是推倒了过去的“蜘蛛侠”的风格，重新进行了绘制，应该属于新翻杨柳枝的模式。《终极蜘蛛侠1》创作于2000年，但里面的人物冲突与故事走向却沿袭着旧有的设定，可以说是“新瓶装旧酒”。

  这个旧酒，实际上是“蜘蛛侠”系列中的核心，也是该系列得以成功的秘诀。

  此秘诀何在？

  我想，这就是“蜘蛛侠”的魅力源自于该作品对青春期潜在忧虑的触摸与化解，因此，这一故事不管以什么样的新模式重新面世，但它内在的抚慰结构却是一致的。

  “蜘蛛侠”是漫威动画里比较完整地展现青春期成长经历的一个英雄故事，在《终极蜘蛛侠》里，主人公彼得•帕克年龄被设定为十五岁，比电影版里的年龄更小一点。他受到很多青春期男孩必然要经受到的困扰。比如，体力较弱，经常受同学欺侮，因为缺乏男子汉精神，在爱情上自然一无所获，这样的男孩，在价值观上也显得混沌不清，对自我认识不足，难以找准自己在社会上的定位。因此，一部“蜘蛛侠”，它展现出的从天而降的超能赋予一个平凡的男生之后，带来的精神意志的觉醒，它所解开的三大难关，恰恰是青春期必须面对的最严峻的瓶颈。

  这三大难关，就是友情关，爱情关，亲情关。而这三关，恰恰是好莱坞电影里至少会呈现出两关而去加以解决与直面的问题，构成了好莱坞电影万变不离其宗的冲突主题。好莱坞电影并不复杂，但却具有相当广泛的普适性，这是它能够老少咸宜、打遍天下无敌手的原因。

  在《终极蜘蛛侠1》中，彼得•帕克身为一名中学生，缺乏强悍的身体，经常受到剽悍强壮的同学的欺侮，连基本的生存能力都严重匮乏。因此，他获得超能之后，第一步就是打开自己的生存空间，获得在校园里的立足之地，果然，在拥有了超异的能力之后，他一扫之前在强势同学面前的萎缩与忍让，用拳头获得了自己的地位，拥有了自己的话语权。小小的校园，就是一个大社会的缩影。彼得•帕克从衰男到超人的转变，实际上潜伏着青春期少年的一种内心期盼，成为英雄，就拥有了能力，拥有了保护别人与获得荣誉的资格，这是青春梦的最核心元素。很快，彼得•帕克最显著的变化，是他拥有了朋友，昔日对他颐指气使的同学对他改变了态度，耳提面命，甚至是哄着他，去参加只有强者才能参加的体育活动。友情关借助于自己的强力提升而顺利突破。

  紧接着，爱情关也迎刃而解。过去班上的靓丽女生对衰男至多怀着一种同情的成份，现在则投怀送抱，主动约会了。“性的苦闷”在英雄光晕的照耀下烟消云散。

  但这并不意味着他的世界观就能够驱除迷茫，摆正站位。这是《终极蜘蛛侠》里不可或缺的英雄成长道路上的必然遭遇到的基础教育。无论是电影版还是目前重新绘制的《终极蜘蛛侠》里，都有着一个未曾改变任何细枝末节的故事架构，就是彼得有一个叔叔本，意外地被歹徒杀死，在之前，本就对彼得有所告诫，希望彼得能够对“这世界贡献些什么”，做“一些可以帮助他人或让他们好受些的事”，“做那些事不只是对的，而且也是你的责任。”（P114）。

  叔叔本的告诫，转述的是彼得的父亲的话，象征着上一辈人对下一代的精神期待，实际上传承的是人类社会共性的愿望。而对此刻的彼得来说，还无法接受这些他根本没有质感与实感的社会人的精神原则，他不以为然，根本没有灌入心中，直到叔叔本死于歹徒之手，才使彼得受到巨大的心灵撞击。他看到，正是因为自己缺乏社会责任感，对曾经擦肩而过的歹徒不闻不问，才导致了歹徒有机会杀死自己的叔叔。在这一刻，他幡然醒悟，接纳了叔叔的告诫：能力越大，责任越大。

  这一个告诫，我们可以比拟于孙悟空之于金箍咒，获得一种超能的能力，是青春期最狂妄的梦想，但是，如果不给这个梦想加以约束与压制，那么，这种梦想的力量便会走到反面，就像《终极蜘蛛侠》里彼得实际上因为自己的一念之差而行使了助纣为虐的负面作为。正是有了叔叔通过亲情的脉线传送过来的血的教训，才使得彼得在转化为蜘蛛侠时，拥有了一种责任感，保证了他在使用超能过程中始终站定在正能量的一面。与此呈现出对应的则是《终极蜘蛛侠》里的哈利父亲因为这种责任感的疏缺，而沦为穷凶极恶的祸手。

  《终极蜘蛛侠1》里彼得顺利地度过了青春期少年必须面对的三大难关，实现了自己的体能与精神的双重飞跃。而这个教育的主线，在电影版的《蜘蛛侠》里也原封不动地移用不误，成为电影里人物精神支柱的一个重要支点。经过如此这般打造的“蜘蛛侠”才有了终极的完善。《终极蜘蛛侠1》接下来把故事的重点，放在了彼得如何去寻根溯源，查找杀死叔叔本的黑社会团伙。《终极蜘蛛侠》第一集里追凶故事并没有完结，它完成的是一个英雄的成长过程，经过三关历练之后的“蜘蛛侠”，可以具备昂扬的姿态与积极的心态面对任何困厄了，这个动漫故事也借此可以正式起航，开始举一反三、大同小异的英雄新传了。

  我不是一个动漫爱好者，但漫威漫画借助于电影镜头般的多重视角，展现激烈紧张的交锋场面，给人一种强烈的动感。而值得注意的是，人物的对话也不厌其烦地展现出真实情境下的人物思想流变，配以人物的丰富的表现，使得人物以活跃的身姿凸显在画面之外，而正是这种对话的丰富多姿，让画面具有了丰厚的内涵，可以让人触摸到角色的内心，实现了人物造型与内心灵魂的合力共振。这就是美国漫画能够吸引力的秘密所在吧。